• one monkey don't stop no show

  musings of a monkey mind

• Categories

  • Film
    • Movies You May Have Missed
  • Food
  • General
  • Grrr
  • Life
  • People
  • Poetry
  • Politics
  • Randomosity
  • Religion
  • Sex
  • Sports
  • TV

• Archives

  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  Posts Prior to August 2008

• Search

I can’t shut up about this anymore.  I see this person splashed across every respectable news outlet, and I’m about ready to donkey-kick some elephant ass.  All of this media coverage (i.e. DISTRACTION) regarding Sarah Palin would be fine if not for one thing that is glaringly obvious to me, but not to many others: the little matter of the truth.  It seems completely absent from any reportage on this woman, who may well be the next president of the United States.  

And yes, I just lost control of my bowels while I typed that last sentence.

When John “Grampers” McCain announced his VP pick, I was as surprised as anyone, mostly because I thought McCain and his kind never let their women leave the kitchen.  So this shocked me, and after a little investigating, two things became clear to me:

1. John McCain must really think women (and clued-in men) are stupid.  In his 400-year-old brain, you just know McCain has dumbed this whole thing down to one idea and one idea only: “If I pick a woman as my running mate, all those who supported Hillary will automatically support me now! Now…where’s my Metamucil and hard candy?”.  

Well, Grampers, I have news for you.  I don’t know any human being — male or female — stupid enough to abandon their principles and ideals just to cast their vote based upon gender alone.  I — a happily clued-in man — was an ardent Hillary supporter, who abandoned the Clinton cruise ship a few months before she withdrew.  And I did this not in the hope that you, dear Grampers, would nominate a woman, but because I realized the best candidate for the job was and always has been Barack Obama.  

John McCain’s VP choice is an insult to thinking men and women everywhere.

2.  Sarah Palin is no different than John McCain, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, or anyone else in that whole sickening clan.  Just because she looks like a hot, repressed Midwestern librarian who does amateur porn webcam videos on the side, doesn’t mean she’s anything new.  She’s the same old stale, backwards-thinking Republican that has led the country for the last eight years.  Don’t let the Kazuo Kawasaki glasses and meticulously highlighted hair fool you.

Sarah Palin is dangerous.

And here’s why:

Sarah Palin has big ties to Big Oil.  Her husband works for BP (British Petroleum).  BP sponsored her inauguration.  During her 2002 campaign for lieutenant governor, a significant portion of her campaign fund came from Veco, an oil pipeline service.  Don’t for one second think that Big Oil has not kept Ms. Palin in a life of luxury and opportunity.  Like the rest of her Washington soulmates, she has a vested interest in keeping us in Iraq. More money for her means more dead soldiers and civilians, and even though her son Track is deployed there, she can’t really be bothered with that.  After all,

Sarah Palin says that the war in Iraq is “God’s task”.  Speaking to students at her church, Palin said that American troops sent to Iraq were on a “task that is from God.”  Riddle me this: why is it when a foreigner kills and calls it “God’s will”, we label it “terrorism”?  But when Sarah Palin urges killing and calls it “God’s will”, we label it “patriotism”?

Sarah Palin also thinks it’s “God’s will” to build a natural gas pipeline. She has dismissed alternative energy sources, opposed Joe Lieberman’s bill to prevent Arctic Refuge drilling, and has praised Jebus in front of her church in hopes that He will grant Alaska a natural gas pipeline to “unify people and companies”.  Damn, is that all it takes to unify the divided people of our fair nation?  A natural gas pipeline?  Wow, this Palin woman has all the secrets!  AND a direct line to God!

Sarah Palin hates animals and hates the environment.  Palin does not believe human beings contribute in any way to global warming.  She has been a tireless promoter of oil and natural gas exploration in Alaska, including drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.  To further promote drilling, she has sued the National Wildlife Federation to have both the polar bear and the beluga whale taken OFF the endangered species list.  What’s a few more dead creatures to Sarah Palin as long as her pockets are lined with cash?  Remember, this is a woman who passionately hunts moose — so passionately, in fact, that in her introductory video at the Republican National Convention, the opening line was: “Mother, moose hunter, maverick.”  (Notice there was nothing in there about “politician”, “diplomat”, or “leader”.)  Ms. Palin owns a custom Austrian hunting rifle, has killed 40 caribou at a sitting, and has shot hundreds of wolves — from the air.  In 2007, she illegally offered a $150 bounty to state-hired airborne wolf hunters as incentive to increase their kills.  With an inordinate amount of pride, she has also said her deep freeze is chock-full of moose and other animals.  So, apparently, Sarah Palin will not only kill your dog, she’ll eat it too.

Sarah Palin has been governor of Alaska for less than two years, and she’s already being investigated by the ethics committee.  In what has been dubbed “Troopergate”, Palin allegedly put pressure on Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan to have her ex-brother-in-law fired from his position as a state trooper.  When the Commissioner refused, he was fired (Palin cited Monegan’s job performance and “not being a team player” as reasons for his dismissal).  Incidentally, the winner she replaced him with resigned just weeks after he started, having been accused of sexual harassment at his previous job.

Sarah Palin is against sex education in schools.  I don’t need to provide any commentary on the outrageousness of this.  Palin herself was pregnant when she married her husband, and now her 17-year-old daughter is pregnant as well.  Keep preaching this effective anti-sex-ed stance, Sarah. Maybe if you’re lucky, you’ll be a great-grandmother in 12 or so years.

Sarah Palin is economically challenged.  When her mayoral term in Wasilla, AK, was up, she left the town $20 million in debt.  Yup, this is the woman we want in the second-highest seat in the land.  She couldn’t handle the budgetary issues of a small Arctic town, so give her the United States checkbook!  Well, I suppose since Bush doubled the national deficit in only eight years, 20K must seem like chump change to Ms. Palin.  Hell, she probably wipes her perfectly-manicured ass with the 20Ks she gets from the big oil companies.  Anyway, should she take office and add to the national debt, she can always attribute it to “God’s will”.

Sarah Palin doesn’t believe in civil rights.  Ms. Palin has said that she would fully support a constitutional amendment to ban same sex marriage and deny same sex couples equal rights and benefits under the law.  She also opposed expanding hate crimes laws to include sexual orientation (much like her clone, George W. Bush, did).  So what Ms. Palin is saying, in case you haven’t figured it out, is that not only do gay people not have the same rights as everyone else, but gay people are truly not worthy of protection under the law.  Damn, I hope her stylist is straight, because if not, she better check her Aqua Net for cyanide.

Sarah Palin wanted to ban books from her local library.  As Wasilla’s mayor, she twice interrogated her town librarian on how she could go about banning books.  When the librarian refused, Palin threatened to fire her for not giving “full support” to the mayor.  Luckily, no books were banned and the librarian refused to cooperate but kept her job.  This may not sound serious, but, folks, trust me, it is.  Book banning is a fascist control tactic that has been around as long as books have.  Any critical thought through reading is outlawed by controlling what reading material is available.  Sarah Palin wants to control how you think.

Sarah Palin is a far-right Christian.  I am not at all bothered by the fact that Ms. Palin is a Christian.  This is her inalienable right.  Her inalienable, private right.  Republicans refuse to acknowledge the separation between church and state, we all know this, but Palin takes it to an all-new level: she just doesn’t give a fuck.  John Stein, Wasilla’s former mayor, commented that “Palin continued to inject religious beliefs into her policy.” And just by the little bit of evidence I’ve laid out in this post, we already know how every goddamn thing that happens, according to her, is “God’s will”.  Maybe it be “God’s will” that Sarah Palin should just shut her mouth and use her head for once.

Sarah Palin made rape victims pay for their own examinations.  As mayor of Wasilla, Palin passed legislation to charge rape victims for their medical exams.  Even though a post-sexual-assault medical examination is required to collect forensic evidence and, in most unPalinized societies, the cost is absorbed by the police department, not so in Wasilla.  If you have a tough time wrapping your mind around this, look at it like so: Imagine someone broke into your home and robbed you blind.  When you called the police, they told you that they would dust for fingerprints and take a look at the crime scene…as long as you paid.  See where I’m headed here?

Sarah Palin does not believe in abortion.  Even in cases of rape and incest, Ms. Palin is opposed to abortion.  

Sarah Palin does not believe in evolution.  Obviously.  We as a society are not evolving in the least in the decision to make her our vice presidential candidate.  In fact, we just took one more step back toward the cave.

Sarah Palin is a liar.  Ms. Palin has a penchant for telling bold-faced, out-and-out lies.  For example, she said that Obama has not written “a single major law or even a reform, even in the state senate”.  This is bullshit. Obama has an impressive legislative record in both Illinois and Washington; click here to read it.  (And note that it’s far more than Ms. Palin has done.) She also claimed to have opposed the Bridge to Nowhere.  A simple Google search, or a call to anyone in Alaska, will tell you that Palin initially supported the Bridge to Nowhere…until it became politically inconvenient. And these two examples are just from her speech at the RNC.  Imagine the line of crap she’s feeding the masses on her whirlwind tour, or, as I call it, “God’s Will Tour 2008″.

I find Sarah Palin offensive and dangerous to the integrity of my country. As a man, a feminist, a tax-payer, and someone who loves his nation, I fear for the fate of a land controlled by a McCain/Palin partnership.  Let’s face it, Grampers McCain is not getting any younger, and his health status is questionable at best.  This throws Sarah Palin in the spotlight.  She’s used the opportunity to of course further her own political ambition, but she’s also used it to do what Republicans do best: Keep us distracted.  I found it so convenient that right on the heels of the RNC, when it was inevitable that Palin would be ruthlessly investigated, she ran to the media and announced her daughter was knocked up.  By throwing her 17-year-old daughter under the bus, she distracted attention from the real issues — namely that this woman is simply not qualified to be president, vice-president, or a Brownie troop leader.

Dammit!  Now I’m in the mood for Caramel deLites!

Comments